Infants and early toddlers… like kittens and puppies… they’re oh-so-cute, aren’t they? Typically gifted with a cherubic countenance that hides their true mischievous nature, there’s always so much more just beneath the surface. The folks at Gadgets and Gear are offering a most clever device that reveals the truth.. the Mustache Pacifier.
Why a Mustache Pacifier, you ask? Some might argue this pacifier will make junior look like a mini-Ron Swanson or at least a number of years older, creating a more “mature look”. I don’t think that is quite it. No, I think the true function of this device is to alert unwary friends and family members interacting with junior that he is not what he appears to be. You see, Providence deigned to endow most children the defense mechanism of Cuteness. Cuteness tends to deflect blame. It protects the youngster from parents who might otherwise wish to invoke punishment.
You parents know the routine:
Parent 1 shouts “Your son broke our DVR and smeared jelly on the screen!”.
Parent 2, beguiled by the little hellion because s/he didn’t make her saving throw versus Cuteness, replies (or at least thinks) “But s/he’s so cute!” and instinctively seeks to protect the child.
The Mustache Pacifier takes advantage of a youngster’s oral fixation and allows parents to mark the child with an emblem of naughtiness– the black handlebar mustache. In one small, pacifier-move they nullify the unfair advantage, reveal dear little baby’s true nature as a latter-day Snidely Whiplash and warn unwary acquaintances to be on their guard.
Dastardly piano music not included.