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August 20, 2012 • Gear Bits

Fifty Shades Generator Gives You Filthy Smutty Filler Text (NSFW Obviously)

Aside from being a massively successful entry into the romance sub-genre some refer to as ‘mommy porn’, the book has also spawned a large number of memes and parodies. For example, I love the video of Gilbert Gottfried reading excerpts (video below), and now we have a new one – the 50 Shades Generator.

Here is their description:

The Fifty Shades Generator is a breakthrough in erotic fiction. At the click of a button, it generates world-class literature based on a pre-defined vocabulary.

Traditionally, print and web designers had to make use of placeholder text known as Lorem Ipsum. It consists of meaningless Latin, though recently there have been great developments in the field such as Bacon Ipsum, Hipster Ipsum and Samuel L Ipsum. Now, creatives can excite clients in more ways than one with Fifty Shades of Grey-inspired filler text.

Fledgling authors! Spice up your otherwise lacklustre novel with graphic sex scenes guaranteed to get your readers hot under the collar, and slightly sick in their mouths. If you end up winning a big literary award, we’ll split the prize money 50/50, yeah? Wire transfer is fine.

Don’t just be one of the it’s cool to hate it because it’s popular crowd; buy the book and make up your own mind. The cut we get from Amazon goes towards hosting costs and perhaps some well-needed web design courses. Think of it as a donation, with a complimentary book.

Remember, this is a parody site. Do not confuse us with the real thing which includes a story, characters and other things middle-aged women like. Hiring a defense lawyer is an expense we’d like to avoid.

The result of a simple click is a string of somewhat connected pornographic text full of euphemisms and obscure references to genitalia that result in something that is truly bizarre. Here is a sample:

The feeling of his baby gravy draining down my throat got my shrimp sap flowing quicker than greased shit off a shiny shovel. After having my hatchet wound pounded, he then proceeded to fuck my brown eye. My throat was so full of huge penis and Da Vinci load, the Da Vinci load was dripping down my chin and onto my top bollocks. With his greasy kebab skewer slamming deep into my gammon alley, the sensation of his vein cane smashing my cervix made me quiver like Vanessa Feltz’s diesel-powered vibrator. When he removed his gristle missile from my balloon knot, he was pleasantly surprised to see a corn-eyed butt snake staring back as him. He knew I couldn’t wait to lap the toilet twinkie off his greasy slimelight.

Head on over and check it out for yourself!

Oh, and here is the promised video of Gilbert Gottfried reading excerpts from the novel:

Source: BoingBoing

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