McSweeney’s Guide to Airline Passenger Profiling

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You’ve heard about racial profiling, but how about pants profiling?

Oh, you hadn’t heard of it? That’s okay, neither had I … until I found myself nodding and chuckling as I read the list of what to expect from other passengers on a flight — based on the type of pants they were wearing!

Wool Suit Pants: Will board before you.

Wool Hunting Pants: Will board after you.

Pleated Dockers: Will loudly talk on cell phone about ROIs and vertical markets.

Pajama Bottoms: Will be flying either to or from a city with a Señor Frog’s.

Sweatpants with Dallas Mavericks Logo: Will clog one or more bathrooms.

Stained Yoga Pants: Will be carrying a screaming child.

Stained Gymboree Pants: Will be a screaming child.

Leather Pants: Did not pay for own flight.

Pants with Underwear Sticking Out: Did not pay for own flight.

The list, created by Wendi Aarons is pretty much spot on and profiling at its best!  I’d like to see a list that profiles people based on their carry-ons, next.  Can you think of any types of pants that she might have missed, and what type passenger their wearer might be? Do tell! =)

Read more at McSweeney’s.

AIRPLANE PASSENGERS AS EXPLAINED BY THEIR PANTS

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About the Author

Judie Lipsett Stanford
Judie is the co-owner and Editor-in-Chief of Gear Diary, which she founded in September 2006. She started in 1999 writing software reviews at the now-defunct smaller.com; from mid-2000 through 2006, she wrote hardware reviews for and co-edited at The Gadgeteer. A recipient of the Sigma Kappa Colby Award for Technology, Judie is best known for her device-agnostic approach, deep-dive reviews, and enjoyment of exploring the latest tech, gadgets, and gear.