Remember when people were sling-shotting Angry Birds, and we thought it was the best game in the world? Well, it was, then. But Pokémon Go is literally the best thing that’s happened to my smartphone since Instagram changed their icon.
So I’ve been playing Pokémon Go for the past three weeks, and it’s completely consumed my life. Living in Washington DC, there are hundreds of places to go ahead and capture Pokémon, but who wants to do it alone right?
I googled “Washington, DC Pokémon Groups”, because I didn’t want to be the only oddball walking around solo. I found FIVE Groups. One that’s so great, I talk to the people on it more than I talk to my actual friends! We’ve set up bar crawls, gone on distant walks, get plenty of tips on hotspots as well as help each other set up lures. Obviously, with this app always going on my phone, I’ve pretty much pissed off my girlfriend because my attention span is about as short as a curved Pokeball throw to a Zubat. Speaking of Zubats… easily the worst Pokémon in the game. I mean I get it, I love Batman. Hate that Ben Affleck plays him, but that’s beside the point. I’ve wasted a good 50 pokeballs on a few level CP 39 Zubat while sitting in my office because he wanted to be stubborn. Now, you’d probably think “hey, they do that to me too!” right? Well here’s the issue. I’m on level 26.
You’d figure after watching a bunch of countless “how to throw the Pokeball Perfectly” videos, you could catch every Pokémon with ease right? Nope, not for me. More recently, I went on a six-mile walk around the FDR Memorial in 98-degree weather on my lunch break because apparently there was a Dragonite in the area. If you have no clue what a Dragonite is, because you hate Pokémon — or just simply don’t play it — pretty much said Pokémon is great. So imagine my surprise when I was face to face with a 1900+ CP Dragonite. I took a screenshot I couldn’t believe it (no really, I did)!
Naturally, I knew this would be a difficult Pokémon to capture, but I figured “I’m level 25, I’m experienced at this, let me throw a razz berry so he’ll like me more before throwing my Ultra Ball at him”. Needless to say, I cursed in Simoleon when not only did Dragonite get OUT … but he ran. Like where in the cruel hell does a Pokémon NOT want to be with an experienced Pokémon Go player? It truly felt like meeting someone online for the first date, feeling like you’re going to be a great match, then they never call you back. So Dragonite, if you’re out there in the city, I’m hoping to make a better impression the next time. Speaking of dates… people are truly making love connections because of this app! What was supposed to get people more active and engaged in exploring different areas (without being robbed because who wants that?) actually has people making real life connections just by simply walking around, playing a game that they can tell people to hashtag at their wedding #WeedleIDoWed16. God forbid if the venue if a Pokestop or a gym. Imagine your guests taking photos of you at the altar with a Magmar next to the brides dress that costs her thousands!
No but really, this app has literally become a daily staple in my life. I wake up in the morning and immediately go and check the app for Pokémon. The only thing that’s missing is possible alerts of Pokémon being in your area. Oh, and the crashing frequently of servers, which pisses me off a bit. Granted, it’s a new app, and with over 50 million people playing, I kind of expect the app that made $35 million dollars in 10 days to be able to afford better servers. That way ordinary people like you and I who hate in-app purchases wouldn’t have to pay for MORE pokeballs after having 40-50 of them freeze up during gameplay. But according to the developers plenty of changes are coming, including more pokestops, and even the ability to TRADE Pokémon. So if you’re like me, instead of transferring those Tauros, hold on to them, as someone will need them that cannot find them. So think of me if you have a Kangaskhan!
Overall, Pokémon go is a GREAT app to have on your phone, at the expense of your data, or battery life (thanks grandfathered data plans). But if you’re looking for a few items that could possibly get you through a few hours of walking in the park, below are a couple of things that I carry around with me as I go.
Astro E7 26800mAh Portable Charger $59.99
CyanB 3-in-1 cable (ideal for helping out a friend who forgets their own cable) $9.99
If it is too hot for you to walk outside, my best suggestion is to obviously sit somewhere like a Starbucks near a Pokestop, a bar, or somewhere indoors that is accessible to a wall outlet if you hate external battery packs. Or, jump in an Uber Pool like I did Saturday, and purposely tell the driver to add additional riders and to take his time so you can purposely hit up every Pokestop headed in the direction you want to go. Saying that to say this… this WON’T help you hatch eggs any faster, as the speed of a car will not be counted as actual footsteps.
If you haven’t had a chance to check out Pokémon Go, you should for sure download the game today, so you won’t feel left out in two weeks when people are at level 10-15, and you’re made at life because you held out attempting to be different J. Get out there and catch ’em all!!!
Download the app today!