If you are a sophisticated oenophile, or at least pretend you are, avert your eyes! If you don’t give a rat’s posterior about the niceties of wine drinking decorum and want a super-sized libation serving, have I got the glass for you. Gadgets and Gear now offers for the non-discriminating wine drinker the Wine Bottle Wine Glass, a wine glass fused to a standard-sized 750ml bottle. Such a utilitarian design is doubtless causing the 18th century founders of Riedel glassware to spin in their graves.
Top-tier wine glasses, and let’s face it, wine glasses in general, are themselves elitist. They don’t want you to touch them. That’s why they’ve somehow convinced their possessors to hold them at the smallest part of them, the stem, to avoid as much human contact as possible. You’ve seen those folks who wet wine glass rims and use them like instruments…the sound you hear is the wine glasses shuddering and wailing in near-crystalline indignity. The Wine Bottle Wine Glass has no such pretensions, it wants its owner to grab it and show the world it is not an effete part of wine culture.
As befits a tool of such sophistication, the Wine Bottle Wine Glass boasts its own bumper-sticker of sorts with the phrase “Finally! A wine glass that fits my needs!” stenciled on it. As a bonus, the Wine Bottle Wine Glass is “ambidextrous”: you can use both red and white wine, though to my wine-snobby-wannabe eye the glass shape looks to cater more towards reds such as a burgundy. However, if you finish your “glass” it likely won’t matter what is put in as the second pour.
The upshot of owning this piece of
stemware, bottleware, no stottleware! is that you can nurse your glass and savor your wine of choice for as long as you like. At wine tastings or social gatherings you will be showing your busy hosts what a considerate guest you are by only requiring one pour into the glass. Okay, nevermind the fact it’s going to be an absurdly long pour. At least you’ll get some much-needed aeration of the wine and better appreciate its nuances, far better than those unlucky souls with small pours in big, fragile balloon-y glasses that break if you look at them wrong.