Games

New Game Monday, February 2024 Edition: First Impressions of Four Games That Are Being Actively Hyped to Me

Hello, Readers! It’s the year of our Lord 2024, and I’ve cranked out quite a few reviews, each seemingly longer than the last. I enjoy writing, but I’m currently in a bit of a pickle as to what to put my grubby meathooks on next. A lot of stuff has been launched recently by the usual murderer’s row of development teams, but to be honest, none of it really interests me. So, I’m going to start a series called New Game Monday that I may or may not update monthly; it just depends on what’s new and interesting.


Lies of P Review: The Emo Pinocchio Experience That Became My 2023 Game of the Year

Dear Readers, we may have found the 2023 Game of the Year in Lies of P. I’ll admit, when I first saw the game pop up on Steam, my first reaction was, “What a fricking stupid name.” Once I got over my initial revulsion (and admittedly waited for it to go on a small sale), I dove into the discourse surrounding this game to see if it was something truly worth playing. As far as I knew, it had a gameplay loop reminiscent of the much-accredited Dark Souls franchise, where punishment is your only friend as its core alluring trait.


Shadow of the Tomb Raider Review: It’s So Jank, It’s Almost Impressive!

Holy sh*t, people, do I have some filth to say about this game! Shadow of the Tomb Raider is right in the sweet spot of games for me not only to play but to review because while I did end up enjoying the experience overall due to my rolodex of neurological quirks, it had so many problems that I can relentlessly dunk on it with abject glee. It’s essentially the baby bear’s bed Goldilocks trespassed into, so forgive my exuberance and elation; it’s been a long month.


Cassette Beasts Review: Using Old Equipment to Save Your Future … with MONSTERS

It’s funny that people are referring to Cassette Beasts as “not Pokemon.” While that’s technically true, there are a lot of similarities that make such a strong opposition to the comparison laughable, in my opinion. That being said, this is not just a reskin, as Cassette Beasts incorporates a charming and interesting twist on a format that has grown a little stale due to Nintendo and Gamefreak’s apparent disregard for their fanbase. If you saw it on the Steam Page and thought, “Do I really need this in my life?” Well, I’m here to tell you that you just might.



Inscryption Review: Your Creepy Uncle Invites You to Play Cards in an Escape Room …

Hold onto your toilet seats, ladies, germs, and nonbinary friends; we’ve got a card battler coming your way! But is that really all it is? More than just a card game, Inscryption is divided into three distinct acts that will leave you wondering what on earth is happening. It’s an ambitious undertaking, but you, the reader, must be careful before proceeding through this article because there will undoubtedly be things that you may wish to experience for yourself rather than read about. I’ll give you fair warning now and before each section so you can skip ahead if you’d prefer.


Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales Review: A Chip Off the Old Block

We’re back with another Marvel game, howdy, howdy, howdy. Marvel’s Spider-Man: Miles Morales was on sale recently, and I enjoyed the original immensely, so I felt it would be good to give this game a whirl. Instead of playing as Peter Parker, however, you are playing as the newcomer Miles Morales, the hero of Harlem. While the game borrows a fair amount from the previous Spider-Man game, it does bring enough new to make the experience interesting. I beat the main story in about 8 hours; here are my thoughts.


Metro Exodus Review: An Ambitious Ending to a Classic Series

Well, everyone, we’ve made it. Here we have the final step in the Metro trilogy that, presumedly, you have been waiting for. Following the events of Metro 2033: Last Light, we rejoin our silent friend Artyom as he ventures out from the musky subway tunnels of post-apocalyptic Moscow. It’s certainly an ambitious switch-up of the format that was very linear in the last two games in this series, and they have learned from what worked well in the past. That being said, they didn’t get the balance quite right, and that puts it a tier below Metro: Last Light.



Shadows Over Loathing Review: A Fun 2D RPG with More Depth Than You’d Expect

Upon looking at this article, your first instinct might be, “why on earth is Flint playing a children’s game?” I’d then ask you to stop drooling on the floor and open your mind a bit because, while the art is simplistic and this game requires a fair amount of reading, those who like witty banter and silly humor are in for a real treat. Shadows Over Loathing is an excellent and specific type of game whose intricacies cannot be seen by simply looking at screenshots. I played the game for about 10 to 11 hours, and here are my thoughts.


Street Fighter 6 Launches June 2nd with a Chipotle X Capcom Collaboration That You Won’t Want to Miss!

Now this is news I didn’t expect in my inbox. In the leadup to the much-anticipated video game Street Fighter 6, Capcom and Chipotle have announced that coinciding with the game launch on June 2nd, for a limited time, Chipotle will be the first restaurant brand to give Street Fighter 6 players the opportunity to earn Fighter Coins through digital entrée purchases made on the Chipotle app and Chipotle.com and through the Chipotle Rewards Exchange.


Marvel’s Midnight Suns Season Pass Thoughts: A Lot of Good in the Same Vein

A few months ago, I reviewed Marvel’s Midnight Suns and found it to be a reasonably decent time. It had fun combat and tasteful art, but the problem was that it spent an insane amount of time making you jump through hoops like some show poodle rather than kicking the tar out of baddies. Now, all four DLC additional content packs have been added to the game for Marvel’s Midnight Suns Season Pass purchasers, so how has this impacted the experience? Let’s find out.


Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order Review: Thank Heavens It’s a Star Wars Game, Otherwise…

If this weren’t a Star Wars game, Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order would be total ass; that’s my hot take. Now that you know my mood as I write this, be ready for some snark. The marketing for Fallen Order says the combat and world take inspiration from Metroid and Dark Souls, but all that means to me is that they’ve gone out of their way to make things really annoying. Besides one amazing moment at the end of the game that I will spoil (sorry), nothing was really exemplary besides the fact you get to use a lightsaber.


Curse of the Dead Gods Review: You’re in Purgatory — but Having Fun?

The development team at Passtech Games has released a new action roguelite called Ravenswatch in a relatively preliminary state. They put it on Steam Early Access with six characters, a singular level, and a year-one roadmap available at this time. Some people love it; some people are bitching; so it goes. While I don’t typically trust my hard-earned money to an unfinished product (and I never pre-order things either), I thought it would be good to discuss Passtech’s previous game, Curse of the Dead Gods, as an example of this company’s track record so some of ya’ll can calm down.


Dave the Diver Early Access Review: A Great Start That Makes You Want to Dive Deeper

Dave the Diver is an Early Access combination of Overcooked, Subnautica, and Stardew Valley. You fish by day; you serve sushi by night. While still in Early Access, the game has charming pixel-art graphics, a soothing soundtrack, some really amusing takes on game systems, and a lot of potential. It was such a trip because whenever I thought I had seen it all, it threw something else at me to chuckle about. I played this game for 14 hours at the time of publishing this review; here are my thoughts. Firstly, a big thank you to the MINTROCKET team for…


Hollow Knight Review: I Underestimated This Game For Years, I Was Wrong

At first glance, you may assume that Hollow Knight is nothing special. The main character is cute, jumps around, and doesn’t speak any English, so this might as well be a Pokemon for all you know. However, engaging with a 2-dimensional world reveals an astonishing amount of depth that belies its simple mechanics and controls. Originally funded on Kickstarter, this has got to be one of the most successful crowdfunded video games ever, and it deserves high praise.


Far Cry New Dawn Review: Get Chipotle Instead

I went in with minimal expectations and literally only bought Far Cry New Dawn because it was 10 bucks, yet I still feel I got robbed. I’ve beaten Far Cry 2, 3, 4, and 5, so I’d say I’m qualified to judge this game versus the others in the series, and this one is by far the worst. If you stop reading now, I won’t blame you. This is the 2nd most recent addition to the series, and it may have turned me off the franchise in earnest.


Metro Last Light Redux Review: The Metro Game for You, If You Hated the Previous One

Welcome to Part II of my Metro review series, Metro Last Light Redux. Based on a novel series, this Redux is a revamped version of the original Last Light, released in 2013. We join Artyom as he is once again tasked with saving what’s left of the Moscow populace who reside in the subway tunnels post-nuclear apocalypse. For this Metro Last Light Redux review to make sense, there will be some spoilers of the previous game; I recommend you glance at my previous review so you aren’t put out.


Metro 2033 Redux Review: Honey, I Think We Have a Mole Problem

It’s time for something a little different, a first-person shooting game set in the subway of Moscow post armageddon. Metro 2033 Redux is the new and improved version of the original Metro 2033 game, which is also based on a novel of the same name by Dmitry Glukhovsky. This series of games is well-renowned as an immersive first-person shooting experience that combines atmospheric dread, a decent storyline, and solid gunplay. I plan to play all games in this series and write about my experience, so stay tuned. I beat this game in 12 hours; here are my thoughts.


Destiny 2’s Latest Expansion, Lightfall, Launching with Gaming Gear

It’s that time of year when the next campaign is about to be launched, and Bungie is going big this year. Bungie, the original creator of the Halo series and, more recently, the MMO Destiny 2, has announced a new collection of limited-edition gaming gear celebrating Destiny‘s upcoming expansion, dubbed Lightfall. For those of you who don’t know, Destiny 2 is a Multiplayer online game that is free to play, but to engage in higher levels of content, annual campaigns, and get more cosmetics, players will need to pay cash.