Calypso Crystal Fury Collection Takes Couture Fug to a Whole New Level

iPhone Gear iPad Gear Fashion

It’s not often that a press release can make my jaw drop (and my eyes go googly), but that’s exactly what happened when I opened the email from Calypso Crystal. Their new Furry Fury Collection has to include some of the most hideous examples of fashionista excess that I have ever seen. And the prices! Let’s look, shall we?


Fury is the project of Petja Zorec and Peter Movrin, two award-winning European fashion designers; they might be laughing all the way to the bank, but somehow I doubt it.

Carefully selected fur, shocking designs and exceptional craftsmanship. This is Fury from Calypso Crystal.

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London. Like a mysterious medieval dawn, long dark black fur is covering this London case. Run your hands along this majestic piece of art. Soft and elegant like no other. $790.

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I love how you aren’t told what kind of fur is being used on any of these pieces … “long dark black fur”? Is it fox? Beaver? … Cat?! And I’m dying to know who would spend almost $800 on this particular iPhone case, really! I want to meet that girl, and I want to see what she is wearing. Side note: this looks suspiciously like the furry covering for a certain male-only part of a black bear’s anatomy (:cough: scrotum :cough:), and that’s just not right.

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Paris. Made from selected dark brown fur. Combined with concrete purple leather on the inside. Or is it outside? It is completely reversible. Classy and elegant or bold and loud. Your moments. Your call. $1290.

There are no words. Okay … I have a few. Maybe you have dreamed of having a fuzzy iPad mini case that you could lovingly stroke and call “my preciousssssss“, but my official diagnosis is that there is something wrong with you if you are a grown woman even considering spending almost $1300 on a wretched case that looks like it could have come from the Hello Kitty collection at Claire’s.

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Granted, Sanrio hasn’t yet put out a case like this, but now that there is obviously a demand for it, maybe they will. The pre-teens that this might appeal to would likely have a much easier time begging mom or dad to spring for a Hello Kitty version than this house-payment priced, zippered cover made of dead _________. You’ll have to fill in the blank, because I don’t know what it is, either. Oh, the Fury case has a concrete purple leather interior, but if you carry it, no one will be looking at its interior. Trust me.

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Milan. The rebel in the collection. Shocking with its color combination and bold pattern. Unforgettable with its mohawk? swagger. Extremely hard to make. But utterly thrilling to wear. $690.

This one … wow. It looks like the Easter Bunny had a love-child with a zebra! And “extremely hard to make”? I’ll believe that about the leather iPhone case that they hot-glued all of that fur mess to. Ugh. Again, I have no doubt that there are a lot of preteen who might like this, but how many of them are going to be able to throw down and buy one?

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“Classy but Liberating. Elegant but Loud” is what their email said. Oh yeah … totally what I was thinking as I looked at the iPhone and iPad mini collection with prices starting at $690. You bet. =P

If any of these Calypso Crystal Fury Collection designs really appeal to you, then may I point you in this direction, instead?

You’re welcome.

 

About the Author

Judie Lipsett Stanford
I've had a fascination with all types of gadgets and gizmos since I was a child, beginning with the toy robot that my grandmother gave my brother - which I promptly "relieved him of" in 1973. I'm a self-confessed gadget magpie. I can't tell you how everything works, but I'm known world-wide for using a product until I have a full understanding of what it does, what its limitations are, and if it excels in any given area ... or not.

3 Comments on "Calypso Crystal Fury Collection Takes Couture Fug to a Whole New Level"

  1. Things that make you go “ugh”.

  2. And another thing… This would make total sense… If it was the first day of April.