I think my mom is the Queen of Science projects. At my house I’ve been struggling with getting my son’s science fair project completed by next week. I’m probably the least creative person at thinking up new and interesting ways to test how fast a matchbox car can run down a wooden ramp. Leave it to my Mom to an interesting way to complete the project in one emailed suggestion that my son build the cars from the kits he received for Christmas (thanks mom!) and then test each by adding weight.
I suddenly realized that my Mom wasn’t born with this science project talent. Rather she developed it by doing all my projects throughout elementary school. Is this the real reason that we have projects? So parents can learn how to do projects for their kids. Science fair night at Buttonball School in Glastonbury will likely be nothing more than three dozen parent’s all looking at the projects and seeing who’s the most talented parent. Which started me thinking about some school projects that I’d like to do…
Here are some science projects that I’d like to see:
How quickly would the schools stop assigning independent projects if, as parents, we came up with some real life projects. The type of project that actually sheds light on how parent’s are responsible for almost all projects – and NOT their kids.
These could also be projects that are “fun” for parents.
Teacher and Administrator Pay Analysis: Compute the true value of teacher pay by annualizing it with vacations, summers off, half days and shortened days factored in. Most of this information is freely available from the town. Imagine the look on the face of your child’s teacher as he walks by your display and spots his annualized salary – increased for time off, in service, summer vacations – on display for all to see.
Sure, teachers have tough jobs. So do most of us. Too bad I don’t get out of work on a regular basis at 1:05. How cool would this science project be?
Mr. Smith’s Annual Salary – $50,000
Mr. Smith’s Annual Salary $50,000 + value of early dismissals $10,000 + summer vacation $20,000 + school vacations $2,0000 = $82,000
Are photocopied lesson plans really teaching?: I’m sure creating a lesson plan is tough. My kids are in the 4th grade.
Most of their lesson plans are “(c) McGraw-Hill”. Whatever happened to the “good old days” when teachers created their own lesson plans and course curriculum?
For this project I’d take a collection of the last half billion blurry photocopied assignments that my kids brought home crumpled in the bottom of their backpack and compare them with a sample hand created lesson (that you can actually read and understand).
These two projects are probably a little too far out there to realistically be displayed at a school science fair. You have to admit they would “liven” up the science fair a little bit!
Are schools really this stupid to think that projects their students show up with are truly done by them?
Next year I promise that we’re doing two projects in my home – one project totally done by my son – then I’ll create a project on my own (titled – “as done by Dad”) and march into the science fair dressed in a suit and with my own display board.
Might make for interesting conversations in the teacher staff room…
Update 3-3-09 – Buttonball School’s Science Fair is tonight and I’m bringing along this “Bingo Card” to keep me sane. I’ll mark off one space very time I see them item that is described.
Planning and Placement Team
My understanding is that should you feel your child qualifies under No Child Left Behind, that you are able to call a meeting where the school must provide you with either their reason your child doesn't qualify or create a plan under federal guidelines.
In most of those meetings you are allowed to bring a "parent advocate" — and the unspoken issue is the schools never know whether that advocate is an attorney, specialist or your neighbor……so it puts them on their highest level of alert.
And always strive to be the nicest parent in the school should you find the need to complain. The hotheads are always discounted all the way up the school chain of command.
Thanks for the explanation. 🙂
The year all four of our sons had science projects due, I turned in my own spoof project to the principal: "Do Science Projects Cause Maternal Insanity?" I hated the whole process so much that I found a solution and turned it into a business – we now sell project guides that kids CAN do. Of course the the parent must be involved to some degree – most elementary students can't drive to Wal-Mart and buy supplies. But working together is part of parenting.
This might be a fun review item. 😉
Do you have a link that you might share to your guides?
I was very, very proud of my son's science project last year. It was Rube Goldberg-iest project alive. I bought all of the materials, I helped him do something when he asked (i.e., use the power saw), but everything he did was all him.
And I had the very distinct impression at the science fair that the teachers were able to guess the amount of parental involvement.
There's a free parent guide for when the project specs ask your child to identify the independent/dependent variables, and your budding scientist can't remember which is which…http://www.onlinescienceprojects.com/guide. Our project guides themselves are sold here: http://www.24hourscienceprojects.com.
Do you have a sample page — even half a page in JPG or GIF that we could use as an illustration. I like this concept. [email protected]
I have to agree with wayne. When you normalize teacher pay to the rest of us 40 to 60 hour per week slobs with 2 weeks/year vacation who don't have unions that make my property taxes equal what my mortgage payment is (in NJ), they do quite well. Then many get to retire and collect a healthy pension. My only pension is my 201k (used to be a 401k) . The teachers pensions are being replenished by more debt on my children and soon to be much higher taxes because the funds lost the money in the market like I did, so double whammy.
Most public school teachers I know have ridiculous benefits compared to the private sector. Tiny co-pays, everything is covered from viagra, to braces etc. One has cosmetic surgery coverage for Christs sake.
I can't even send my 4 kids to the public school here that I contribute over $10k portion of my property taxes because the kids are being taught in trailers due to a lack of space, and the standardized test scores suck. Yet we have a Superintendent, again working 6 months/year, who makes $200k+ to oversee 4 poorly performing schools.
You tell them wayne!
Now can somebody tell me why this insanity doesn't contribute to our soon to be 2 trillion dollar ANNUAL deficit that is going to make this downturn look wimpy compared to the day other countries stop buying our soon to be worthless debt created by this broken public education system?
I say give the parents the cash back and create a free market school system. Now watch how schools, administrators and teachers begin to compete for the dollars which would be based on results instead of tenure.
Good work Wayne, goaskmom & Julie. This should be a Public Service Announcement. 😉
For kicks I pointed my scientist wife to the link (yes, we met in a lab and had, er, good chemistry–though I've been out of the lab for over 10 years) to get her take. I guess that gives us an unfair advantage over other parents, lol. 😀
Ok – this demands a totally off-topic explanation. What type of scientist is your wife? And what made you leave the lab? Inquiring minds want to know! 🙂
She worked in a biochem lab testing immunological properties of milk via gas chromatography/mass spec and HPLC, next door to the lab where I worked. When I first saw her, I knew I would marry her some day (a few years later, as it turned out, thanks to our mutual love of Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass). The biological lab where I worked was downsized when the company owner died, but my wife's department was spared. I found work testing software and doing IT support for a company that creates multimedia for major tech firms…that was more than 10 years ago. She's civilized me a bit, so that I can discern the difference between chocolates and how to pronounce things like OPI (Mrs. O'Leary's BBQ and such). Right now she's doing our 1040s by hand (she thinks it's brain challenge), and is handy with a pistol. She's one tough, smart girl. 😀
Awwww! Great story, thanks for sharing. She sounds like a gem! 😀