McSweeney’s Guide to Airline Passenger Profiling


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McSweeney's Guide to Airline Passenger Profiling

You’ve heard about racial profiling, but how about pants profiling?

Oh, you hadn’t heard of it? That’s okay, neither had I … until I found myself nodding and chuckling as I read the list of what to expect from other passengers on a flight — based on the type of pants they were wearing!

Wool Suit Pants: Will board before you.

Wool Hunting Pants: Will board after you.

Pleated Dockers: Will loudly talk on cell phone about ROIs and vertical markets.

Pajama Bottoms: Will be flying either to or from a city with a Señor Frog’s.

Sweatpants with Dallas Mavericks Logo: Will clog one or more bathrooms.

Stained Yoga Pants: Will be carrying a screaming child.

Stained Gymboree Pants: Will be a screaming child.

Leather Pants: Did not pay for own flight.

Pants with Underwear Sticking Out: Did not pay for own flight.

The list, created by Wendi Aarons is pretty much spot on and profiling at its best!  I’d like to see a list that profiles people based on their carry-ons, next.  Can you think of any types of pants that she might have missed, and what type passenger their wearer might be? Do tell! =)

Read more at McSweeney’s.


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About the Author

Judie Lipsett Stanford
Editor in Chief of Gear Diary, Secular Humanist, techie, foodie, hoarder of Kindle eBooks, lover of live music, and collector of passport stamps.