McSweeney’s Guide to Airline Passenger Profiling

McSweeney's Guide to Airline Passenger Profiling

You’ve heard about racial profiling, but how about pants profiling?

Oh, you hadn’t heard of it? That’s okay, neither had I … until I found myself nodding and chuckling as I read the list of what to expect from other passengers on a flight — based on the type of pants they were wearing!

Wool Suit Pants: Will board before you.

Wool Hunting Pants: Will board after you.

Pleated Dockers: Will loudly talk on cell phone about ROIs and vertical markets.

Pajama Bottoms: Will be flying either to or from a city with a Señor Frog’s.

Sweatpants with Dallas Mavericks Logo: Will clog one or more bathrooms.

Stained Yoga Pants: Will be carrying a screaming child.

Stained Gymboree Pants: Will be a screaming child.

Leather Pants: Did not pay for own flight.

Pants with Underwear Sticking Out: Did not pay for own flight.

The list, created by Wendi Aarons is pretty much spot on and profiling at its best!  I’d like to see a list that profiles people based on their carry-ons, next.  Can you think of any types of pants that she might have missed, and what type passenger their wearer might be? Do tell! =)

Read more at McSweeney’s.


As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases. If you are shopping on Amazon anyway, buying from our links gives Gear Diary a small commission.

About the Author

Judie Lipsett Stanford
Judie is the co-owner and Editor-in-Chief of Gear Diary, which she founded in September 2006. She started in 1999 writing software reviews at the now-defunct; from mid-2000 through 2006, she wrote hardware reviews for and co-edited at The Gadgeteer. A recipient of the Sigma Kappa Colby Award for Technology, Judie is best known for her device-agnostic approach, deep-dive reviews, and enjoyment of exploring the latest tech, gadgets, and gear.